She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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