Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
