We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
