Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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