it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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