i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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