My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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