I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
