girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
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Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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