And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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