mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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