There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I stole a fireplace last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
