The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
