Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
