I smell stomach acid.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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