I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I want to have your abortion
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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