I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
