I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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