I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
