OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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