is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize