Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
