I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
