it's not cheating when I paid for it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
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Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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