I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize