That's intense
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
