is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van