Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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