I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
