A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!