Got a toothbrush?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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