i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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