Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Sober January is a disaster.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
