Your tits are I can't wait for
I puked a lego.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize