Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
