Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
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