I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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