Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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