Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My nipple is on Facebook.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
babies were throwing up all over the place
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
