I think I just saw someone hide a body.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
being pregnant is like rehab
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
