Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?