I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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