i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And then he peed in my hair
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