yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
