When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.