i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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