Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
