small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
