Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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