Apparently you make a good broom.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
FUCK WHALES
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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