Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i barfeds in our rink
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
