Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
