I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
