We won't sleep together?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
