I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
