i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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