Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
