eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Houston, we have a blender
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
