How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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