btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
