I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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