Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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