**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
